5 Things I Learned Taking Engagements

"Nuckols? Really? If you marry him, you have to keep your last name."

That's what my mom told me when I first told her about Cameron, and now we really are getting married—on August twenty-first. My last name is going to be Nuckols in forty-six days, and I couldn't be more excited. Okay, maybe if Häagen-Dazs was catering, but I'm not a millionaire. 

We took our engagement photos a few weeks ago with Anna Killian, and she is absolutely incredible (link to her site at the bottom of this post). But as I was preparing for the photos, I had a hard time figuring out where to take them, what to wear, how to do my hair, how to do my makeup, etc. Lots of girly things that other people might scoff at but that seemed important to me. So, if you're having a hard time figuring those things out, let me tell you what I learned through the process. Take it or leave it.

1. Look like you. 

Please enjoy this excerpt from Tina Fey's book: Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.

It's really easy to fall prey to such an impossible beauty standard and do things like hire a makeup artist, get a spray tan, get eyelash extensions, get hair extensions, buy a bunch of new clothes, or crash-diet for two weeks. I'm all for looking your best, but look your best—look like you. Everyone loves you for who you are, so don't make them say, "wait, who is this?" when they see your pictures.

2. Don't get too caught up in posing.

My favorite pictures turned out to be the unplanned ones.* Just hang out and have a good time together, and hopefully your photographer does as good of a job capturing that as mine did.

*Do a couple of traditional poses, just in case. 

3. Choose a versatile location.

At first I wanted to do something super original and avant-garde, but I never had enough time to think of something and plan it. That turned out to be good luck because the location we chose (just a little area next to a neighborhood) turned out to be perfect. Not all of our pictures look the exact same because we were able to just explore where we were. Don't be afraid to get a little dirty to get a good picture!

4. Don't overdo the number of outfits.

Honestly, you don't need a thousand amazing pictures: you have the rest of your lives together to get good pictures. Just bring a couple of outfits (we brought two), and focus more on being in love and having fun than worrying about your next outfit change.

5. Make sure you choose an awesome photographer—duh.

I don't think I even need to explain this one. Do your research. And if you live near Salt Lake, choose Anna.

Without further ado, here is the evidence that I am totally qualified to preach to all of you you about this subject (not).

Photography Credit: Anna Killian http://www.annamkillian.com/

Moving Forward

I don’t know if it is the same way for everyone, but sometimes God blesses me with a swift kick in the pants.

At least that’s what it feels like.

You know that verse in the Doctrine and Covenants that says, “reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost, and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him [or her] whom thou hast reproved?” Well today that happened to me. Let me back up a few months and give you some context for today’s happenings.

I was sitting on my signature homework couch in the basement of the Wilkinson Student Center when I took a break to scroll through Instagram, and there it was: the cutest swimsuit, like ever, on one of the Mormamoms (Mormon mothers) that I follow on Instagram. I got on the website and quickly ordered one. Finally it came in the mail, and I opened the package. It was wrapped in leopard tissue paper, a sure sign of future satisfaction. Not. The bottoms didn’t fit me at all. Surely those couldn’t be for a size 0-2 like the website had said. Soon after, I realized they could not be returned, only exchanged. The problem was that the next size up would be much too long for my short torso, so that wasn’t an option either.

Cut to a few weeks ago.

I scrolled Instagram and fashion blogs looking for cute swimsuits. After all, I was going to need a new one for my impending honeymoon in Cancun. I saw immodest suit after immodest suit, all on people that I admire and look to as examples in many other ways. Instead of being disheartened, I was almost relieved. “Oh, even so-and-so is wearing a bikini,” I thought to myself over and over.

And eventually my thoughts became my actions. I ordered a swimsuit from Nordstrom that I would never have ordered a couple of years ago. I justified it to myself: 1. It’s more modest than the ones I saw all of the bloggers wearing. I mean, at least it’s a one piece! 2. It’s my favorite brand. I looove my swimsuit from last year that I got from them. 3. It’s on sale. This couldn’t be more perfect.

The package arrived, and I anxiously tried it on. It fit, and it was everything I imagined it would be. I couldn’t wait to wear it walking down the beautiful beaches of Mexico.

And then yesterday I showed it to Cameron, my fiancé, when I was packing for my trip to Guatemala. He immediately said, “What are you going to do when you go through the Temple?” What am I going to do? What do you mean what am I going to do? Why would that have anything to do with this? I finally asked him what he meant, if they gave new guidance regarding swimsuits in the Temple that I was unaware of. With a confused look, he answered, “No, but they give you garments and explain that you should wear them all the time. What is the point of being modest all of the time if you are just going to take it all off the go swimming? If I saw you wearing that, I would say, ‘Katie, what in the world are you doing?’”

I thought. And I thought. And then I thought some more. My normal happy-face took a trip, and I started to self-evaluate.

Is this swimsuit immodest? I don’t think it is. No swimsuit could possibly be covered by garments unless you’re wearing a muumuu, and no one does that. Why would he tell me that? He just doesn’t get it. But what if he does? What if I’m the one who isn’t getting it?

Ultimately, I decided that I would return it, even if just to please him. Although I still wasn’t convinced that it was a bad swimsuit, knowing that he thought it was turned out to be enough to convince me to not keep it.

I swapped my frown with my signature smile and kept packing. He drove me to the airport, and I flew (well, the captain flew) to Dallas, thoughts of swimsuits long replaced by thoughts of leaving Cameron for two whole weeks—gah! The misery of young love.

Today I celebrated Father’s Day, had a Temple recommend interview, and then went to church. In the opening prayer of Relief Society, I asked for us to continue to have the spirit with us, that we could think of things we could change in our lives to draw us nearer to Him, and that we could have the strength to do those things.

As the lesson began, I realized that I had already heard the lesson the week before in Cameron’s dad’s ward in Salt Lake. The lesson was: Following the Living Prophet. I leaned over to my friend, Allie, and told her so. She said, “wow, you must be a pro at this then,” to which I replied, “or I just really need it.” Little did I know then that that comment would manifest itself to be incredibly true.

We were placed in groups and asked to talk about certain aspects of the lesson. I brought up my favorite quote from the lesson: If we want to know how well we stand with the Lord then let us ask ourselves how well we stand with His mortal captain—how close do our lives harmonize with the Lord’s anointed—the living Prophet—President of the Church, and with the Quorum of the First Presidency?

Cue the swift kick in the pants.

How could I pray, asking to become closer to God, and ignore some of the counsel He gave me through His anointed? Why would I choose to pray every day, choose to read my scriptures every day, choose to be kind to others, and then choose to push against the boundaries of His counsel, even if it was just a little? Why would I do that? Why did I do that?

I knew that I needed to change. I hadn’t done anything wrong per say: I never wore the swimsuit. But I bought it. I intended to wear it, and I knew that it would be pushing the boundaries.

How grateful I am for a Father in Heaven that loves me enough to show me when I am not on His path. How grateful I am for my Savior—for Jesus Christ—whose hand is always outstretched toward me to help me get back on that path.

I’m not perfect, and this is only one little exemplification of that. But I want to be.

So this is my commitment to try a little harder to be a little better. This is my commitment to not push that boundary, no matter how cute the swimsuit is, no matter how many of the people I look up to are doing it, not matter how much money I could save by buying this one instead of searching for that one.

Oftentimes we forget that baby steps still move us forward, but today I remembered that they do. This is my commitment to walk toward Him.

A Merry Happy Christmas

My second family is pretty darn good to me.

We took this fifty times, and he scowled every time.

This picture is actually making fun of David, who will be home in 8 months now, eep!

An excerpt from my journal:

12/25/2014
Today is Christmas day, and it has definitely been a beautiful one. The Kings, Ray, Liz, and John are all here. Family makes for a good time. I got this journal this morning from The Johnsons. They are all the sweetest, and this is one of the most beautiful gifts I have ever been given. Although I got many wonderful and thoughtful gifts from my loved ones, the real gifts of today were the less visible ones, like getting along with my sister for long enough to play Christmas songs on the cello and violin for my grandpa. After, he said, "this is what I have been waiting for all day." And he meant it. Another "gift" that I did not appreciate was being squished between John and Rachael on a couch as they simultaneously released the foulest smelling gases known to human noses. Let's just say that we are lucky I'm still here because that almost killed me. And of course, on an extremely different note, the greatest gift of all that I got to celebrate today was the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I'm especially grateful for Him today, among all of the hastily torn wrapping paper, orange chocolates, N64 games, and even some sting-pong. He truly is the gift.

Be Ye Perfect

Let's take a look at a commandment right quick, shall we? 

Mathew 5:48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. 

Wow. Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you feel like you aren't enough? Do you feel like you will never be able to live up to what you are supposed to be?

If so, please stop. This process that we are all going through is a process of becoming. Our Heavenly Father doesn't expect us to just snap our fingers, wiggle our noses, and then never do anything wrong ever again. No, He really just asks us to do our best to become like him. My Book of Mormon teacher, Dr. Larry Nelson, has given me a lot of great analogies and ideas recently. Let me just share a couple.

Dr. Nelson entered his boy in a sort of sheep-riding competition years ago. His son got on the sheep, and stayed on for a very long time before he fell face-down in the dirt. At this point, Dr. Nelson ran to his son, and picked him up. The boy started crying, and the dirt covering his face turned into streaming mud. Dr. Nelson looked at him, trying to think of how to react, and eventually he said, "Wow, son. You were so great. How was that? Was that fun?" And then his son, trying to control himself, replied "Yes, dad. But I don't want to ride the bull tonight."

I think a lot of times we get so caught up in what we have not done, or what we have yet to do, that we fail to recognize or feel joy in all of the great things that we have done. Maybe like Dr. Nelson's son we think to ourselves, "Yeah, I read my scriptures, and said my prayers, and helped someone today, but I still haven't written in my journal, done my family history, gone to the temple, planned Suzy's birthday party, bench-pressed 694 pounds, or gone to the moon." We simply can't do it all, but the beauty is: we don't have to. This is a process of becoming. Becoming like Him. 

Dr. Nelson used another great analogy: we have seen a lot of good drivers in our lives. We have sat in the back seat, in the passenger seat. How many times have we seen people drive? But when we get in the driver's seat for the first time, we are not good drivers. We have to become good drivers. This life is not about being a good driver. It's about becoming a good driver. We can't just see our Heavenly Father and be exactly like Him; we must become like Him.

My teacher expounded on this principle of becoming. He said that apostles have said that in the pre-mortal existence that we were taught in theory. Maybe we were taught the Word of Wisdom, and we said, "Really? That's it? That's all I need to do to be like Him? I can do that. How hard could that be?" And then we got here, tasted our first bit of chocolate and thought, "Oh, really hard." Or maybe we were taught the law of chastity, and we said, "Really, I think you're making a big deal of this. How hard could that be?" And then we got here and hit puberty and said, "Oh, really hard."

Elder Christofferson said, "Your Savior wants you to become something, not just do some things." When a child takes his first step, do we say "Wow, big deal. Now let me see you run a marathon! Go on then!"? NO! We jump up and down, and scream, and clap because we see it as a huge step in his development. We should be doing the same thing with our own spiritual progression. "Woohoo! I read today! I prayed today! I challenged myself, and I became something new."

"The atonement in not just about paying debt, but transforming debtors."

Mosiah 5:7 And now, because of the covenant which ye have made ye shall be called the children of Christ, his sons, and his daughters; for behold, this day he hath spiritually begotten you; for ye say that your hearts are changed through faith on his name; therefore, ye are born of him and have become his sons and his daughters.

If you feel overwhelmed, take a step back, and look at the great things you have already done. Then just choose one thing to work on, something that will help you become more like Him. If you need help choosing something, I urge you to look to the Book of Mormon. Larry Nelson said that it is the "textbook for our process of becoming." I have read it, and I know that it is true! I know that Heavenly Father loves all of His children, each one of you. Everyone is important, and everyone is in their own process of becoming.

This video hit home recently, and really goes along with this topic well. Please watch it! 

http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=3792885561001&cid=HPFR091914425

I recently did a project for my drawing class. It is a contour drawing, meaning you should be able to draw it all without every having to lift your pen. We couldn't use pencil first, so the mistakes I made were permanent. Luckily for us, the mistakes we make here don't have to be permanent. They can be washed away through the healing power of Jesus Christ, through the atonement. Forgiveness is a gift available to us all. Don't ever sell yourself short by accepting your mistakes as permanent. You can change, and He will help you.

Maybe this week we can try to help others, to put ourselves in other's shoes. Walk His paths, for they bring peace.

Today Leila and I decided to hike up to the Y (as did a million other people) instead of watch the football game on TV. Not that we don't love football.... but.... uh. So anyway, we hiked to the Y, and it was alright, I guess. But it definitely didn't satisfy the hike cravings I have had since we left Guatemala, so we decided to keep on going. We ended up passing some really great lookout spots, and we made it to almost the very top of the mountain (I know, ughhhh, why not just the top?!) before we had to turn back.

Oh, and we sssssssssssssaw a black and yellow snake. I'm not particularly afraid of snakes, but that thing was RIGHT next to me! Eeps! We are ready to take on Timp now, so hit us up, pros.

Enjoy these pictures, or don't. I honesty don't care because this blog seems to be mainly for my own enjoyment.

This is our new friend, Camille. This was the very first selfie she has ever taken, so
even though I look like the devil's spawn, I'm including it.

Oh Remember, Remember

As I made my lunch today, my grandpa told me all sorts of things. Most of them I have heard before, but I learn something new each time, and this time, I didn't want to forget. So now I am going to share some of it here. His name is Delano Dwight Cotton. Most people call him Dwight, but I of course call him Grandpa. He calls me Beautiful, Grace (with a lot of sarcasm), Katarina, and Lazy.

He has worked in over twenty-eight very different professions. He has owned a dive shop and certified over 2,000 divers, worked in a steel mill, taught middle-school through college, helped thousands of people overcome problems that prevented them from finding employment, and has even worked at McDonalds. More recently, he got to know every employee at the Sonic in Grapevine by name, and he was invited to their employee Christmas party three years in a row, even though he definitely did not work there. But nothing is so impressive to me as the love his has for his wife, Naomi. They were married on April 8, 1957, and she passed away on April 14, 2009. Yesterday I found a poem that he wrote to her just a few months later.

Letter of Love

I'll see her again when they put me down beside her.
Tomorrow would not be too soon.
This world has nothing I want to see.
Tomorrow holds nothing that will replace her love for me.

I pray that she knows what I feel about her
And how glorious it will be
When together we cross over our Savior to see.

Father in Heaven help me as I go forth
Guide me each step 'till this world set me free.
Wait for me Yom, and I'll try to be deserving of you for eternity.

Dwight
September 11, 2009

When Dwight was working on his masters degree, he taught night school. A lot of great stories came from that point in his life, but here are a couple of my favorite.

On the first day of speech class, my grandpa met his new students. One was a six-foot-something, burly coal-miner. That coal-miner walked up to Dwight and told him that he would not under any circumstances ever get up in front of the class and talk. My grandpa retorted with a true-to-character "oh yes you will. You march up to the front of this classroom right now. Students, no one is to make a sound until I say." The miner sat in silence for five minutes until he couldn't any longer. He walked up to the front of the room and said, "here I am. Now what do you want?" My grandpa opened up a book and asked him to read a prepared passage. He did. The rest of the class was filled with a death glare from the miner in the back of the room. However, the next night the miner walked straight to the front of the room before he took his seat and repeated what he had said the day before. Dwight gave him a new passage to read, and for the following four months, there were absolutely no problems. At the conclusion of the class, my grandpa gave him a list of classes to take, and the miner went on to earn his associates degree. A while later, my grandpa called him up and said, "I have a job for you teaching in the technical college. Get down here!" The miner was interviewed, hired, and was still teaching nine years later when my grandpa left the college. In the words of Dwight: his whole life pivoted on that one night, the first day of class. But he got up, and he came. The rest of his life changed in that one moment. You can't be afraid. You can't let anyone take advantage of you or use you. You have to walk for yourself, and you never know where it will get you.

A different semester, he decided to try something new in his speech class. During the first week, he brought in a poster of a great white shark and held it up in front of the class. He said "this is my wife." The class burst out laughing, and for the following three or four weeks, Dwight continued to rail his wife, Naomi. He only said bad things about her, and he made it seem as if she was the very worst. One day, an older female student in his class had had enough. She said, "Professor Cotton, I can't take it anymore! You can't keep talking this way about your wife. What would she say if she heard you talk that way?" And my grandpa said, "I don't know. Why don't you ask her? She's sitting right beside you." And sure enough, Naomi had been sitting next to her since the first day of class. No one could stop laughing, and their joke was a huge success.

He also told me that he liked to say things that were obviously incorrect, just to get students to challenge him. He would say things, as if out of the book, that were completely false. Students started to challenge him, and eventually they figured out that he had been doing it on purpose, but they never stopped challenging him. Today he told me, "You know, people are just afraid sometimes." They might need a push, and that's what he gave them. He told me to stick up for myself, hold my own opinions, and that if I do that, I can do anything I want.

So I guess that is what I am sharing today: stand up for yourself because you never know where it might lead you, and it will always lead you somewhere better than where you were.

Pictures with Captions

Dad on Rock

No Way Jose (the Spanish Teacher)

Are Chacos Meant for Hiking?

Holy Heck No

On Top of Spaghetti

10,000 Feet Above Sea Level (San Pedro Volcano)

Sometimes People Pose Like Losers

I Might Be Sad if This Actually Happened

Mom as Photographer

Bouldering Waterfalls

Freezing My Buns Off

Hannah the Roommate

Hannah's Evil Twin Sister

A Pana of Pana, a Panapana