From a Rocky Beginning to an Even Rockier End

These last two weeks could not have been any more different than they have been. In the words of my new Spanish teacher, José, "mas diferente imposible." Everything that happened was just so out of the ordinary: My cousin almost randomly moved to Grapevine, and Leila and I made it to Guatemala, which, by the way, has been great.

Getting to Guatemala was insane (if you don't want to read my crazy airport/travel story, skip the rest of this paragraph). First, we found out that there is an embargo on boxes going to Guatemala twenty minutes before our boarding time. This proved to be a substantial obstacle because my oh-so-generous mother had filled seven HUGE boxes with donations for missionaries in Guatemala and an organization called Mayan Families. Oh, and Leila was going standby. Oh, and did I mention that now it is almost 15 minutes until boarding, and we aren't even at the right terminal?! Yeah. Anyway, Rachael and I ended up going home with all of the boxes to repack the donations and our food/liquids into suitcases, and return to the airport the following day for the next flight out. We drop my mom and Leila off at Gate A, and then we return home with boxes (and this freaky microscope that my mom insisted I bring as my carry-on) in tow. The flight was scheduled to take off around 4:15 in the afternoon, and after a while, the short delays became longer delays. The plane wouldn't leave the ground until 9:15, and there was a slight chance that Rachael and I could check our suitcases and make it back on the plane in time! Now we are down to thirty minutes to tear apart the boxes and throw everything into suitcases, making sure to weigh and re-weigh each one. That was quite the process, and we could not have done it without the help of my tireless cousin, Elizabeth (yes, the one that just moved to Texas), and my faja. Fast forward: we made it to the airport, checked all of our bags, sat down for a casual glass of Sprite, and returned to the gate only to find out that the flight would be cancelled until seven am the following morning. Great. Dandy. Lovely. Wow! So exciting! The next day at the airport proved effortless, even peaceful, and it turns out the Leila got on (even though she was last on the standby list), and she was randomly placed next to me on the plane! Que extraño! We made it to Guatemala City, and we greeted two brand-spanking new missionaries (but don't actually spank them because I have heard that is not allowed or something?!) as they came off of a plane from Nicaragua to go to the MTC. After a fancy shmancy hotel tried to rip us off (reservations were all sorts of messed up because of the plane fiasco), we decided to go to Pana the same day. And we did! Victor, the same driver that we used last year when we came to Guatemala, took us to the Missionary Training Center, where we met the Mission President and his wife, the temple, where four girls wanted to take twenty pictures each with us (which was actually pretty sweet), and then home, to Panajachel. And we have been here ever since. *que the angels from above, not below, duh*

So here are some great things that have happened since we got here:

1. The other person living in the house we are living in for the next month is a twenty-two year old, recent college graduate named Hannah. And she is great! We have all had fun going on adventures, eating tacos, and grabbing some helado from Marco Pollo.

2. The three of us went kayaking on Lake Atítlan. It was absolutely gorgeous.

3. We took a boat across the lake to Santa Cruz, and we went on a hike to a bunch of different waterfalls with our young guide, Jambio. We only almost died like five times parents, don't worry. But seriously, free climbing is so invigorating, and I hope to do some more of that soon. Knowing that your life really is in your fingers and toes is crazy. The boat ride back was even more interesting because there were WAY too many people on the boat. It went twice as slow, and we had to sit in the very back right next to the captain. I'm glad that I looked like a dead mouse before I ever got on the boat because I continued to get soaked the whole way back. Our shoes still aren't dry.

4. Leila and I ate spider webs, which I must say, was something I have never had the desire to do. But it was strangely awesome. The web basically disappears in your mouth before you can even feel it. I would highly recommend this as a form of entertainment. It must not be dangerous to your health because I feel great!

5. Leila and I saw a squirrel pee. It climbed up a tree and then showered its lovelies down on a bush below. That might not sound very special, but take a minute and ask yourself this question: have you ever seen a squirrel pee? 

6. Our Spanish classes have been pretty interesting. We have played Scrabble in Spanish, and today José taught us a bunch of comebacks in español for when guys try to hit on us in the streets. They would probably work if the guys were in trees, too, but that just doesn't seem as probable.

7. Volunteering at Mayan Families is pretty chill. It feels a little bit less purposeful than last time because I'm not teaching a class this time around, but I am still getting to do design work, which makes me happy. The kids that hang around there are hilarious, as well. I pulled out photo booth, and they flocked. Hilarity ensued, and the pictures speak for themselves. But the kids can't, so I will just tell you, they were laughing and screaming the entire time. 100% greatness.

And now for some pictures.

Oh Dear

*WARNING: this post contains rambling, boring subjects, and limited humor. But if you want to read on and maybe leave me a comment with your insight, well, I'd really appreciate that.*

Having choices is a real blessing, but it is also really hard. Sometimes I wish that I had a professional choice-maker who would come along for my ride in life and make all of the hard decisions (and maybe even the easy ones) for me. I believe in the power of prayer, and I know that our Heavenly Father can help give me answers on His time when I make myself available to listen. 

But right now I just feel like it would be easier to have this decision maker I muse about. Let's call him Walter: it's a wise-sounding name, and I just watched that Walter Mitty movie (totally hilarious, by the way). 

In the morning, Walter would tell me what to wear. This would probably save me an average of ten minutes a day of sitting on the floor moaning and feeling like my only option is to pretend I'm a hobo. Maybe I would even look cute for school again! Oh, and there wasn't even a question as to whether or not I should get up for seminary. Walter made that choice for me. 

Then, Walter would help me decide whether to gun it or stop when I see that yellow light. And he would help me remember to be nice to everybody, even when the dreaded most common punctuation has taken over my body (that would be a period, in case you didn't quite pick up on that). He would help me decide if there is enough time to go to the bathroom in between passing periods and prevent all tardies.

But obviously there are more important decisions to be made. Where should I go to school? What should I study at school? 

I took a leap of faith and chose to go to BYU, but other schools keep emailing their enticing scholarship offers, and I got one today that says I have four days left to join the National Merit Scholars at OU this fall. Four days, guys. I mean, I wasn't even considering it, but when you put it like that it sounds like a very pressing matter that demands attention and deserves consideration. Am I really giving up such an amazing offer? It really has made me take a step back to examine my decision-making process. 

This all leads to my next decision that needs to be made: what should I study? Clearly, I am still young. I don't need to pick my major/post-major degrees this minute, but I do need to decide what classes to take my first semester of college. It would be easy, except that it's hard. If I decide to go with Graphic Design, I will take some great Visual Arts courses. Those sound fun, and fun sounds promising. But apart from that, my interests start to vary widely. You see, I would also love to study neuroscience, which would mean some chemistry and biology courses my first semester. And then I could be a CIA Agent, and if I'm going to do that, I had better start learning Arabic (I hope this blog post doesn't keep me from this career at some point in the future. If one day it has been deleted.. well..).

There really seems to be no middle ground. My mom says to take general education classes, and of course I will take some, but being the all-or-nothing soul that I am, I feel the strong need to choose a direction and throw myself at it with every single pound I've got.

So I will keep praying until I get that answer. But Walter, if you're out there, I'm offering you a temporary position because this is really hard. You know where to find me. 

Good people, how do you make hard decisions and find peace in them?

The BYU Crew

Even though AP tests have not yet come and gone, we are letting the summer adventures begin. That's a good idea, right? Yesterday the BYU Crew went to the lake, and our good friend, Shirley, snapped some pictures. The BYU Crew consists of two roommate pairs: Katie & Leila, and Rachel & Kendall.

Leila and I are completely obsessed with Shailene Woodley, and so when we found some wild blackberries, we couldn't help but forage. Also, Shailene and the rest of the The Fault in our Stars crew are coming to Dallas on May 9th. All my 11:11 wishes until then are going to be that we can see them.

Now here is to getting fives on my AP tests this next week (raises 500 page Physics book to English one).

Carry(ing) On

I've always been a fan of the saying: carry on. I have a plethora of similar sayings that I use on the daily: this too shall pass, it's downhill from here, and there's no other option, to name a few. But today, I started thinking about the phrase a little more, and I realized that instead of saying carry on, we should all be saying keep carrying on. 

Sometimes people have very noticeable problems. And oftentimes when we come across these problems that others are facing, we have a tendency to tell them to carry on or push through because things will get better. And that's true: things do get better. But when we say that to someone, it's almost as if we think that this is the one hard thing in his/her life, and that's where the problem lies.

Everyone fights an uphill battle every freaking day. Before her daughter was diagnosed with cancer she was struggling to complete college by taking classes online, working through marital issues, and battling depression, all while maintaining the house and trying to be a good mom. Before his dad died, he was struggling with self confidence because he didn't have any friends, and trying to make good grades to get that scholarship he needs to be able to afford college. So sure, maybe this problem that you can see now is something really awful, but that person has been dealing with hard things for his/her entire life. Let's not discredit that. Keep supporting and loving people. Help people remember that they are strong, and that everything they have done up to this point proves it. And remember that yourself.

If you're reading this, you have been carrying on for your entire life. Never stop carrying on for anything. I promise you that it will be worth it.

A List of Lists

I'm a huge proponent of list-making. I like making to-do lists even more than I like checking them off (which is really convenient considering I hardly ever actually complete them). But there is so much more to listing than reminding ourselves of menial tasks. Lists can be powerful, people. So I would like to propose a new one to you. I hope that you, whoever you are, take this seriously and try it out.

Instructions:
1. Identify a feeling you relate to.
2. Create list.
3. Enjoy new-found insight.

When You Feel:
1. Sad- Twenty-five Things I Am Grateful for
2. Inadequate- Ten Things I Am Good at
3. Angry- Ten Reasons I Should Love ____(myself, my friend, my parent, etc.)
4. Insecure- Ten Things I Love About Me
5. Hopeless- Ten Reasons I Have to Keep Going (I promise there are a lot more than ten, for everyone)
6. Betrayed- Ten Things I Will Never Do
7. Ashamed- Ten Reasons I Am Enough
8. Disheartened- Ten Good Things
9. Like You Can't Trust- Ten Selfless Things People Have Done For Me
10. Embarrassed- Five Most Embarrassing Moments in My Life (it goes on)

Honestly, I know it probably sounds dumb, but I have seen it help a lot of people. Sometimes we just need to prompt ourselves to remember things that we already know so that we can shift toward a more positive perspective. I believe in optimism, but not in a naive sense. Not everything will go the way it should and be good. Optimism, to me, means no matter how hard any trial or tribulation which befalls me is, no matter how lonely or scared I become, no matter what, I can come out standing up. I can come out stronger and having learned a valuable lesson. If you feel one of those ways in my list, I dare you to take this challenge. I highly doubt you will regret it.

Katie Cotton

Living on the Edge

Today I had a lot that I needed to get done, but instead, I decided to take my FR (future roommate) up on her offer and go on an adventure. We drove to five different water towers in search of the perfect one to climb. A few didn't have ladders, and the third was right next to a school (in daylight..just no), and the last one was completely in the open and complete with a barbed wire fence-fence topper and a no trespassing sign. So after finally deciding that today wasn't the day we wanted to kick "get arrested" off of our bucket lists, we got back in the car and started heading home.

As I was sitting shotgun, bummed out that our adventure didn't go as planned, Leila saw a gas station with gas for $2.79. We were in shock, until we realized it was abandoned. Hungry for heights, we pulled into the parking lot. It didn't look like there was any way to make it to the roof, but as we walked around the back, we noticed a ladder connected to the top of the roof and hanging in the air. Our supreme fitness skills allowed us to jump up to it and hoist ourselves up to climb. 

We reached the top and found glorious adventures awaiting us (it was actually pretty nasty up there- tbh).

We found a dusty square and a rock: fate was telling us to play tic-tac-toe. However, fate didn't tell me HOW to play, and I lost. This is Leila's victory pose... I think it could use a little improvement, but hey, who am I to judge?

My hips don't lie, and I have no idea what the heck Leila is doing. A duck with a golf club? Who knows.

So basically we just had a dance party up there, until I saw a little boy calling for his mom in a nearby house. She came to the door, and her face didn't look sunshiney about us being up there. Down we went! 

It was quite the adventure.

-Katie Cotton